Finding Hope
by archphoenix
Summary: Clarke and Raven have a heart-to-heart about Lexa.


Clarke released a shaky breath and she collapsed into the chair. Her hands overhead her face as she gave a loud sob that rattled across the room. She kicked at the wall in anger, her stool rolling slightly across the floor. There was a loud creak and Clarke quickly wiped her face.

'Hey,' Raven said softly, shutting the door behind her.

'Hey,' Clarke replied, her voice thick and her fury burned at the sound of it, giving her away.

'It's okay-

'I'm fine.' Clarke replied harshly, standing up. 'I need to get back to work. We've got a world to save, right?'

Clarke tried to side step by Raven but Raven's arm gripped hers and pushed her back firmly yet gently. Clarke didn't meet Raven's eye but looked over her shoulder at the door, longing to keep moving. She wished she'd never sat down.

'I'm sorry.' Raven said gently.

'For what?' Clarke asked, defensively.

'I saw.' Raven explained simply. 'I saw you with Lexa in the City of Light.'

Clarke spun around as tears clung to her eyelashes. She stifled another sob and wiped at her face furiously.

'I saw what she meant to you.' Raven finished, from behind Clarke.

Clarke gasped a few great breaths. She steadied herself, letting her breathing deepen and slow.

'Raven,' she said, finally turning around, 'we don't have time for this.'

'Don't run from it, Clarke.' Raven urged.

Clarke tried to surge to the door but Raven once more intercepted her and in a fluid motion, Clarke found herself crying in earnest into Raven's shoulder. She grasped at the soft material of Raven's jacket as her tears fell freely. Her broken sobs echoed throughout the room as Raven held her steady.  
'It's okay.' Raven whispered kindly.

'She's gone.' Clarke choked.

She was gone. She could have been with Lexa but she had to take the Flame out. She would have died. Murphy frantically squeezing Ontari's heart had been the only thing that had kept her alive. She lived to save her friends, but she'd lost Lexa for good.

To her shock, Raven gave a soft chuckle and pulled back from Clarke. Raven's fingers nimbly brushed her hair back out of her face as Clarke's sobs began to subside. Clarke looked lost at Raven, confused as to the hope there.

'Clarke, we both know she's not gone.' Raven said happily. 'She'll never leave you.'

'Yeah, because I left her...' Clarke replied bitterly.

Raven shook her head confidently.

'She's still with you, Clarke,' Raven said, 'and she's still in there.'

Clarke looked hopelessly at Raven.

'And you are still in there with her.' Raven insisted. 'It's just you're also here now, and once we save the world, maybe we can find a way to put you both back together.'

Clarke closed her eyes. She could still feel Lexa's lips against hers, and the last words Lexa had uttered had been etched inside her ears and probably carved upon her heart. She said she would always be with her. The disappointment came flooding back, Lexa had not expressed the same love and she'd been left with a platitude that Lexa would stay with her when she had run to watch Lexa leave her with one last fight.

'There's no death in the City of Light, Clarke.' Raven said. 'The Flame existed before ALIE started her schemes in the city. The commanders stayed there to guide the latest leader. Lexa remains, still. I know it.'

Clarke marvelled at Raven. Raven looked so sure and more confident than Clarke ha known her. Raven had said she' been upgraded now, that she understood that world and the technology better than anyone living. She was, in a way, Becca's protégé, whether the first commander wanted it or not. If Raven thought there was hope...

'Trust me, Clarke.' Raven reminded her, with a smile. 'We both know what it means to say goodbye to someone and this isn't it.'

Clarke saw a flash of Finn's head lolling over his chest. She blinked away the images, but Raven was staring at her in understanding.

'I'll see her again?' Clarke asked, her voice in awe.

'Of course, you will.' Raven reassured her. 'Death is not the end, Clarke. Lexa always knew what she was talking about. If you can't trust me then trust her.'

Clarke looked again to Raven but still there was not a flicker of doubt across her features. Clarke slowly nodded, and Raven finally stepped aside. Clarke looked to the door. So they had one last battle left and one that would claim them all. The plans they had made seemed destined to fail...but so had they all so far. She would meet this last battle and finally secure the peace Lexa had longed for, and then she would trust Raven and once more she and Lexa would find each other again.


End file.
